Some issues to consider before making the move

Making the decision to move a parent into your home is not necessarily as clear-cut as it would seem. A number of situations and questions arise that may need to be addressed. The Family Caregiver Alliance's Family Consultants suggest that it is helpful to consider these issues before the move is made:

Relationships

• How will I talk to my parent about moving?
• How do my spouse and children feel about moving my parent into our home and how will it change our lives together?
• What things will be easy for us to negotiate in living together and what things will be hard?
• What are the limits of my ability to care for my parent at home and what if I have to put him or her in a nursing home?
• How will my siblings feel and how much help will they give me?
• Will my parent's friends come to visit at my house or will they be dependent on me for all their socializing?
• What are my needs for privacy and alone time?

Adapting Your Home

• Where will parent sleep in my children's room? Should we convert the den or build an addition?
• What assistive devices do I need, such as grab bars in the bathroom, a raised toilet seat, ramps, etc.?
• Does my parent smoke or drink and will that be a problem for me?
• Does my parent have a pet that will be coming along and how will I cope with caring for it?

Money

• What will the financial arrangement be? Should I charge rent for expenses?
• How will my siblings feel about the financial arrangement?
• Will my work situation have to change, and if so, how will I cover the bills?

Time

• Will my parent need care during the day, and if so, how will it be provided?
• How will I juggle my job, child-care responsibilities, marriage and caregiving?
• When will I have time for myself? 

Personal Care

• How comfortable am I with helping my parent bathe or changing an adult's diaper?
• Do I know what to expect over time as my parent's condition changes?
• How is my health and will I be able to take care of myself as well as my parent?
• Am I willing to accept respite care to get a break?

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